do you ever wish you could just stop time for like a couple weeks so you could just sleep and do whatever you want and just get your shit together and then after that time would just start back up again and you wouldn’t have missed anything because you would just pick up where you left off
toy story but with the grown up kind of toys if you know what i mean
you got a friend in me
(Source: overhumor)
sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS A BUNCH OF LAPTOPS SO HE TOOK THE SUITCASE AND RAN AND I JUST
the fuck am i suppose to do with this
i have honestly never laughed so hard in my entire life
(Source: boutchu)
yes i support gay rights yes i would care if you died no i’m not going to reblog that post
yes i’m glad david karp made this website no i will not call him daddy
yes i think cancer is a terrible disease no reblogging that picture wont bring anyone closer to a cure
yes i love pizza yes im going to reblog pizza
(Source: yiffmebabyonemoretime)
when ur absent from school and you ask the teacher to explain something and they just say ‘well you should have been here’
(Source: lysistratas)
i thought i saw a fruit flavored breath freshener but it must have been a fig mint of my imagination
I see what you did there! XD
have u considered work as a detective because i really believe u would do well with that career ur observational skills are amazing
is this masturbation?
nah this is like unlimited energy. my nigga made the tesseract
(Source: southsidelokos13)
(Source: asexual-not-a-sexual)
